As many of you know, I am teaching two grades: 10th and 12th grade. I started out with teaching the honors tenth grade class along with the regular class, took on the seniors class after two weeks, and just yesterday I finished my second day of teaching full-time, adding the AP English students onto my workload. I am officially Ms. Sarchet. It's taken me awhile to get used of introducing myself like that. I kept wanting to say Dana instead. But now, I think that title is starting to grow on me.
In tenth grade, I'm currently teaching my students how to write a research paper. They had to read a book of their own choosing, identify a particular literary device used within that novel, and then connect the historical background of the novel to this literary device (i.e. what is the historical significance of the author using this literary device to reveal meaning?). Sounds difficult? It is. I didn't start writing a paper like this until college, so it's been a bit difficult for the students to pick up. But they have definitely surprised me so far. They are BRILLIANT. And so adorable. Guys, I cannot even describe how much I love my tenth grade students. I love helping them figure out how to write, I love making jokes with them during class, I love giving them hugs in the hallway, I love getting to know their backgrounds in order to understand how I can I reach out to them more effectively, I love teaching them about maintaining perspective during difficult times (including research papers), and I absolutely LOVE encouraging them, both those who are struggling and those who are surpassing my expectations. That has been the most rewarding, fulfilling element of this experience so far. I just want to show them how much He loves them, and if somehow they can see that through me, I'd be ecstatic. It sounds cheesy, but words cannot possibly describe how much they've captured my love. They've sketched out a permanent home in my heart for them...they're making it very difficult for me to leave here.
Teaching the 12th graders is not as visibly rewarding, but I do honestly enjoy them. I've been able to get to know a few of the girls in that class and develop a semblance of a relationship with them. I LOVE these girls. All I want to do is just sit down with them, talk to them about going off to college, ask them about their families, and hear about their beliefs and thoughts about Jesus. I so badly want them to know Him, in heart, mind, and soul. I can just see so clearly the need they have for Him once they leave here to begin one of the biggest transitions of their lives. Ah man...it kills me how you can be burdened by a need that isn't necessarily felt to the same extent by those who have that need. I wasn't aware of how badly I needed Him before I went off to college...even now, at 21 years of age, I'm realizing to a greater extent than ever the weight of the reality that I can do absolutely nothing without Him. Honestly, I'm more concerned with getting to know this class and having opportunities to just hang out and talk with them that it makes having to teach them a bit difficult. The only time I have with them is in class, and it takes a bit more effort to get to know a 12th grader than it does a 10th grader. But we are currently covering The Power and the Glory, a novel by Graham Greene that's CHALK full of faith issues. It's not necessarily an enjoyable read, but it's masterfully written and full of things to analyze and pick a part. So I've been trying to wrap my lectures around themes that apply to the 12th graders (having them define faith, insecurity, and personally evaluate the worldviews of the characters within the novel). But it's difficult...12th graders a just checked out, ya know? Most of them don't do the reading (and I don't blame them. It's not an enjoyable book), which makes discussion a bit strained because I end up talking all the time. And even though I try to make the subject material applicable to them, most of their minds are focused on completing their senior thesis papers or thinking about sleep. So most of them just don't care. Honestly, I don't blame them. It's just disappointing because it inhibits me from getting to know them. But that's ok. :) We're taking it a step at a time.
I just start teaching the AP class, and it is definitely a different beast from the 12th grade class, even though the students are the same age. These students are so incredibly smart. The level of analysis and insight they have rival the quality of discussions I've had in my upper level English classes at Liberty. It's awesome. I'm learning that I just need to let go of my role as "teacher" and let them discover the literature by themselves. I'm just there to redirect the discussion if necessary. It takes a lot of intention and discretion, which my lack of experience doesn't necessarily help. But again, that's ok. :) I'm learning over here...I'm learning so much. And I get to hang out with teens in it all. It's just the perfect combination.
Teaching is such a sharpening tool in my walk with Christ right now. I have goals in mind that I want to accomplish within the classroom, but there is absolutely no way that that will happen without His guidance. Just now, I'm reading my 12th grade students' evaluations of the characters' worldviews, and exactly what I didn't want to happen happened. Disappointing--yes. Humbling--absolutely.
He is the only one who can penetrate their hearts...I have only to listen and hope that He will develop a hospitality in my heart that draws those He wants to draw. Sarah, my cooperating teacher, gave me this quote by Henri Nouwen yesterday: “Hospitality means primarily the creation of free space where the stranger can enter and become a friend instead of an enemy. Hospitality is not to change people, but to offer them space where change can take place. It is not to bring men and women over to our side, but to offer freedom not disturbed by dividing lines.” I cannot possibly tell you how much this truth has been breaking me down. It's an emotionally draining, stripping process to realize that I have no influence apart from what the Lord decides to give me. It's not up to me. I have to let go of accomplishing want I see needs to be accomplished; even if I'm right, I have to let go of my instinct to control this and make it happen. It's freeing...absolutely. But definitely painful at times.
It's amazing being over here...I'm definitely blessed to have this experience.
In a week and a half, I leave for Cambodia. The high school team I will be chaperoning will be going to an orphanage and building a fence for the people there. Evidently, we will be doing very physically draining work, so please pray for energy. The students will be exhausted, but we as leaders need to be refreshed enough to effectively lead the team. Also pray for soft hearts with the students and--as always--pray for opportunities. :)
Please also pray for my finances. For situations that I cannot detail now, things have to be tighter than I was planning and budgeting for.
THANK YOU FOR READING ALL OF THIS!! Here are some pictures of my latest excursion to the east coast of Singapore:
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| Myself and Angela. I don't know why the picture is refusing to be right-side up. :( Silly picture... |
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| Snapshot of the coast |
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| Myself and Heidi. We had jumbo chili crab. DELICIOUS. |
