Puzzle Pieces: March 2012

I'm actually posting in a week's time after my last update! WHOA. Ladies and gents, it's a miracle. :)

This past week has been the first week back from Spring break. Surprisingly, the switch wasn't difficult at all. After not teaching for two weeks, I began to miss it. Does this mean that I'm officially becoming a teacher? We will see.

Although I was sunshine and rainbows coming back after a week of relaxation, many of my students were not. I can't blame them; it's hard to get back into the swing of things when you're a student. Needless to say, however, this did make teaching a wee bit difficult the first couple of days. I've been trying to come up with some creative methods of teaching literature to the class. Maybe that will break up the monotony and boredom for them. If I could just find some different methods for implementing group discussion, I think I'll be good. We'll see...depending on what I can find, it's worksheets and journal entries for now. ;) If any of you have some good ideas, feel free to pass them along!

Regarding my AP class, we just began reading The Power and the Glory, the novel I've mentioned before as having countless religious themes and ideas throughout. So far, the discussion has been very refreshing and substantial. I have some very bright students in my class, so I'm interested in hearing their insights regarding the novel. However, it is a bit difficult to tie all the messages and ideas together; so much of the book feels scattered and a bit disjointed. You have to work hard to trace the common thread. We'll see how the rest of the discussion goes. I am extremely excited though, as I will be having them read C.S. Lewis's essay "The Weight of Glory" and comparing/contrasting his ideas with Graham Greene's. Pray for that discussion--it should be very interesting.

My honors and regular sophomore classes finished their research papers yesterday!! So although my life will be consumed by editing those countless pages, I do have to say that I am so relieved that their hard work is done. This project has been an area of stress for so many of them, so I'm glad that they have this weekend to relax. For celebration, we had a party for them in each class yesterday. I baked cookies all night for it, but it was definitely worth it. :) They seemed to have a lot of fun; a needed ending to a long, draining, beneficial assignment. I begin To Kill a Mockingbird with them on Monday, so it will be interesting to see how different literature discussions are with tenth graders in comparison to seniors.

For this past week, teaching has taken on a different quality for me. I've finally began to take ownership of my classes and feel like they are truly my own. Along with that comes a different degree of confidence in my instruction that I haven't experienced until now. Although I'm still a bit nervous before the day starts (which I'm not exactly sure if this will go away for a while), I am so much more secure in front of my classes. I truly feel like their teacher. It's a long time in coming, but that mentality is difficult to develop when you're in someone else's classroom under the title of "student" teacher instead of actual teacher. I've also began to take more liberties in lesson planning than I had before. As I'm taking more ownership of the classes, I'm now becoming so incredibly focused and motivated by the goal of my students' achievement. Not overall achievement necessarily (i.e. I want all the class to get an A), but an achievement that targets the individual progress of each student (i.e. if student A received a C on his/her test, how can I help him/her get a B on the next?). It's very refreshing to embrace thinking this way. I've been contemplating student achievement from the start, but more in a way of how I could make the perfect lesson plan. I'm very thankful for this switch; it's very refreshing to me. :)

So that's my update in the teaching department. I did receive several written reflections from my students who went to Cambodia with me, and reading about the different areas they felt they had grown in as a result of the trip is AWESOME. Thank you for all your prayers for them; many of the students who I knew were distant from the Lord expressed some degree of reconciliation, which (as always) is extremely exciting and just awesome to see.

One of my students looked at me yesterday and said, "You're going to miss us when you're gone, aren't you?" It gets a bit harder every time I think about May 4th. I've developed some awesome relationships over here; some with the teachers, a lot with the students. It's hard to think that in a month, I'll be physically removed from their lives. This transition phase is definitely difficult--moving to one place, getting settled and adjusted, only to move elsewhere. I guess college is always defined by that: you go from dorm to dorm, friend group to friend group. I've always been the kind to look for change as well, to jump from one thing to the next despite my hating the inevitable adjustment periods that go with this. But now, I'm seeing more and more the benefit of being planted somewhere for a long period of time. Of just allowing yourself the time to grow roots in the soil in which He's placed you. Paul definitely skipped from place to place during his ministry, but there were several places where he stayed 2-3 years, ministering and pouring himself into the people in that one location. My students are so open to relationship and mentorship here; and at just the point where they're becoming more open, I'm leaving. To be honest, it kinda sucks. It's awesome to see what impact He's allowed me to have, but I keep thinking about the impact I would have if I stay, and it just pales in comparison. All the while, I know how illogical this is, of assuming that the future would have been different if...There's no way that I could ever know that it would be different at all, but that just doesn't seem to stop me from thinking about it. ;)

Along with this has come some anxiety about returning to the States. I'm sure that I'll transition back easily; Singapore isn't that different from the States. But my role back at home is different. I'm leaving as Ms. Sarchet and returning as Dana. This will change obviously when I become a GSA, but for the summer it won't. I'm just wondering what life will look like, what my friendships will be like after being gone for 4 months, if friendships in Singapore will be sustained, etc.

So all of this has made me realize that I need to stop focusing on the "What if" and my fear regarding my return back to the States. I know its the wisest decision to go back and complete my masters. I especially want to get that done so that I can have the freedom to grow and plant myself somewhere possibly overseas. And I'm so excited for it, honestly I am. But in order to really plant myself here in this last month, I need to stop thinking about this "what if," I need to stop thinking about leaving and how I'm going to handle things when I'm back home. Please pray for me regarding this. Pray that I make the most of the time I have left with my students and coworkers, not allowing May 4th to inhibit these relationships at all.

Once again, I just thank you all for reading this and supporting me throughout. :) I'm off to school for some more planning and portfolio comprising.

Hello one and all. :) I have finally decided to emerge from the hundreds of student pages I've been editing to write a post. As usual, it's been way too long, and as usual, I deeply apologize. :( But I do thank you all for your patience and your constant prayers.

Thank you, thank you, thank you for all the prayers directed towards this trip to Cambodia. We left March 8th and returned on the 15th, but accomplished SO much in the short amount of time we had. Like I had mentioned previously, our job was to help build a fence for the orphanage. However, when we first arrived to the orphanage, we realized that there was a bit more work needing to be done than we had thought. Not only did we need to dig deep holes around the property line for the fence posts, fill the holes with heavy rocks, and make countless batches of dry and wet cement and carry them to the holes, but we also needed to clear some of the landscape to make way for the fence. And lo and behold, there were several armies of rather large fire ants who were determined to make our job as difficult as possible. But after several days of working from 8:30 am until 5:30 pm, some delightful "bonfires" to give the red villains a taste of their own medicine, and a few minor injuries among the students, we nearly completed the entire fence. Although the work was definitely more intense than some of the students had imagined, the students really came together after the first day of work and poured their hearts into their service. It was such a blessing to see and experience. Sure, they had their share of distractions, but for the most part each person stayed on task.

As a result of the strong male leadership being so strong, I was able to just relax and get to know the students on the team, which I LOVED (for those students who are reading this blog, I STINKIN' LOVE YOU!!!). Between playing card games late into the night and having light-hearted (and some deeper) conversations, I got to see many of their hearts, hear some of their struggles, and just listen. I see SUCH value in them, and just longed to help them see themselves and their lives through the lens of Christ. I wanted to wipe away all their frustrations with school, their relationship difficulties, and just expand their perspective to more than just their story, but the holistic, all-encompassing and continually unfolding story of Christ--a story that is so much more than research papers, friends, and even random acts of service. Although I so wanted to just tell the students this, they didn't need yet another "teacher" telling them things about God. They have enough of that at school, and I think it grates on them from time to time. They needed someone to listen, and so I listened. Or at least I tried to. :) He definitely worked in my heart during the trip, so I'm certain that He worked in the students' as well. Please continue to pray for the entire team, that the change, if any, that occurred during the trip would not just disappear as soon as we all return to school on Monday.

Spring break was directly after Cambodia, so I had plenty of time to recuperate from and try to process the trip! After several days of research paper grading, movie watching, and SLEEPING, I went to Indonesia with two teachers at the school, Erika and Hannah. We spent two days and one night at the island of Bintan, shopping in the markets and swimming at the beach. It was the perfect amount of time, and we were able to meet several amazing people. Honestly, I have to say, though, that I've never felt like such a foreigner before in my life! The men were much more forward to me than the men in Indian, so that obviously made for several awkward moments. And though the people were extremely nice there, I've also never been laughed at so much before in other foreign countries. Oh well, what can I say? I guess I'm just a dumb American to them. ;) Other than the constant stares, questioning, and various giggles, I definitely enjoyed myself.

But the BEST part of the spring break trip happened last night, when Erika, Hannah, and I took a cab from the ferry in Singapore to Queenstown MRT. We lucked out in getting a chatty taxi cab driver (most cab drivers are extremely quiet). We had a long cab drive, so this man talked on and on, covering topics from car expenses to family. I listened, laughed, and smiled, trying my hardest to decode his broken English. Then I heard the word "Christian" come out of his mouth. Turns out, his daughter has recently come to know Christ, and he wants nothing to do with "this Christ." He had been a crime inspector in Singapore for five years, and had consequently seen countless Christians and pastors steal from charities and tithes, commit adultery, etc. Although he talked most of the conversation about his experiences and beliefs (he even pulled the car over and stopped the meter so he could share), I was able to get a few words in regarding true Christianity and even the exclusivity of Christ. Please pray for him as soon as you read this. He is not entirely closed-off, and I feel like his daughter might have great opportunity in the future with him.

After our conversation, I was just overwhelmed by the grace of God. Recently, I have been wrestling with a few issues in my walk, sometimes (and even that very morning) falling into old, unhealthy habits. Through reading Don't Waste Your Life by John Piper, I've been convicted about how self-focused my day to day life can be. And then suddenly, God brings this taxi cab driver into my life, this man who out of the blue mentions Christ in an area like Singapore where the people intentionally avoid religious conversations so they won't offend anyone. It was then that I realized even more that it is never about how insufficient I am, but how sufficient He is to make a way for Himself. Why focus on my weaknesses when He has already promised to provide enough strength (2 Cor. 12:9)? Weakness and inability aren't even legitimate factors when someone has already made an allowance for them. Why freak out that the passenger of a car can't drive when he isn't even the one at the wheel?

And it is through my Christ's strength that I see His grace. He can easily accomplish His will without me, and yet this tattered clay jar (2 Cor. 4: 7) sat in a taxi cab on the side of the road as a representation of Christ. I am His representative...I am an ambassador of Christ (2 Cor.5:20; Isa. 61:1), not from my own accord but from His glorious work on the cross to redeem. True believers are a constant picture of the cross, of how Christ has taken something purposed for destruction, torture, and death, and has transformed it into a sign of redemption, resurrection, and future glory (1 Cor. 1:28). "Because suddenly we realize that our sins have so much beauty..." --Graham Greene in The Power and the Glory. Beauty not in essence, but in the trans-formative power of Christ. Of His grace in not only expunging our sins at the cross, but also in giving us the opportunity of being a part of His story. Last night, I realized all the more that there is no higher pleasure on this earth than being given opportunities of speaking His name to the darkness, and these opportunities have been made possible only through His death on the cross. As a result, these opportunities not only draw others to Him, but draw us closer to Him as we have yet another reason to glory in His work on the cross. Being His witness is not just a mandate; it is a manifestation and amazing gift of His grace.

On top of all of this, I also found out last night that a Mexican student I taught English to during my first missions trip in Puebla, Mexico three years ago came to know Christ!! His name is Baruc. Please pray for him as he begins his new life in Christ.

I do believe that I will shut up now. I'm so sorry for how long these updates are, but I guess that's what I get for not updating as frequently as I should. Thank you for being patient, and being a support for me throughout this trip. I can't wait to see you all in May!! Here are some pictures of Cambodia, Indonesia, and Baruc: