It's a miracle...

I'm actually posting in a week's time after my last update! WHOA. Ladies and gents, it's a miracle. :)

This past week has been the first week back from Spring break. Surprisingly, the switch wasn't difficult at all. After not teaching for two weeks, I began to miss it. Does this mean that I'm officially becoming a teacher? We will see.

Although I was sunshine and rainbows coming back after a week of relaxation, many of my students were not. I can't blame them; it's hard to get back into the swing of things when you're a student. Needless to say, however, this did make teaching a wee bit difficult the first couple of days. I've been trying to come up with some creative methods of teaching literature to the class. Maybe that will break up the monotony and boredom for them. If I could just find some different methods for implementing group discussion, I think I'll be good. We'll see...depending on what I can find, it's worksheets and journal entries for now. ;) If any of you have some good ideas, feel free to pass them along!

Regarding my AP class, we just began reading The Power and the Glory, the novel I've mentioned before as having countless religious themes and ideas throughout. So far, the discussion has been very refreshing and substantial. I have some very bright students in my class, so I'm interested in hearing their insights regarding the novel. However, it is a bit difficult to tie all the messages and ideas together; so much of the book feels scattered and a bit disjointed. You have to work hard to trace the common thread. We'll see how the rest of the discussion goes. I am extremely excited though, as I will be having them read C.S. Lewis's essay "The Weight of Glory" and comparing/contrasting his ideas with Graham Greene's. Pray for that discussion--it should be very interesting.

My honors and regular sophomore classes finished their research papers yesterday!! So although my life will be consumed by editing those countless pages, I do have to say that I am so relieved that their hard work is done. This project has been an area of stress for so many of them, so I'm glad that they have this weekend to relax. For celebration, we had a party for them in each class yesterday. I baked cookies all night for it, but it was definitely worth it. :) They seemed to have a lot of fun; a needed ending to a long, draining, beneficial assignment. I begin To Kill a Mockingbird with them on Monday, so it will be interesting to see how different literature discussions are with tenth graders in comparison to seniors.

For this past week, teaching has taken on a different quality for me. I've finally began to take ownership of my classes and feel like they are truly my own. Along with that comes a different degree of confidence in my instruction that I haven't experienced until now. Although I'm still a bit nervous before the day starts (which I'm not exactly sure if this will go away for a while), I am so much more secure in front of my classes. I truly feel like their teacher. It's a long time in coming, but that mentality is difficult to develop when you're in someone else's classroom under the title of "student" teacher instead of actual teacher. I've also began to take more liberties in lesson planning than I had before. As I'm taking more ownership of the classes, I'm now becoming so incredibly focused and motivated by the goal of my students' achievement. Not overall achievement necessarily (i.e. I want all the class to get an A), but an achievement that targets the individual progress of each student (i.e. if student A received a C on his/her test, how can I help him/her get a B on the next?). It's very refreshing to embrace thinking this way. I've been contemplating student achievement from the start, but more in a way of how I could make the perfect lesson plan. I'm very thankful for this switch; it's very refreshing to me. :)

So that's my update in the teaching department. I did receive several written reflections from my students who went to Cambodia with me, and reading about the different areas they felt they had grown in as a result of the trip is AWESOME. Thank you for all your prayers for them; many of the students who I knew were distant from the Lord expressed some degree of reconciliation, which (as always) is extremely exciting and just awesome to see.

One of my students looked at me yesterday and said, "You're going to miss us when you're gone, aren't you?" It gets a bit harder every time I think about May 4th. I've developed some awesome relationships over here; some with the teachers, a lot with the students. It's hard to think that in a month, I'll be physically removed from their lives. This transition phase is definitely difficult--moving to one place, getting settled and adjusted, only to move elsewhere. I guess college is always defined by that: you go from dorm to dorm, friend group to friend group. I've always been the kind to look for change as well, to jump from one thing to the next despite my hating the inevitable adjustment periods that go with this. But now, I'm seeing more and more the benefit of being planted somewhere for a long period of time. Of just allowing yourself the time to grow roots in the soil in which He's placed you. Paul definitely skipped from place to place during his ministry, but there were several places where he stayed 2-3 years, ministering and pouring himself into the people in that one location. My students are so open to relationship and mentorship here; and at just the point where they're becoming more open, I'm leaving. To be honest, it kinda sucks. It's awesome to see what impact He's allowed me to have, but I keep thinking about the impact I would have if I stay, and it just pales in comparison. All the while, I know how illogical this is, of assuming that the future would have been different if...There's no way that I could ever know that it would be different at all, but that just doesn't seem to stop me from thinking about it. ;)

Along with this has come some anxiety about returning to the States. I'm sure that I'll transition back easily; Singapore isn't that different from the States. But my role back at home is different. I'm leaving as Ms. Sarchet and returning as Dana. This will change obviously when I become a GSA, but for the summer it won't. I'm just wondering what life will look like, what my friendships will be like after being gone for 4 months, if friendships in Singapore will be sustained, etc.

So all of this has made me realize that I need to stop focusing on the "What if" and my fear regarding my return back to the States.  I know its the wisest decision to go back and complete my masters. I especially want to get that done so that I can have the freedom to grow and plant myself somewhere possibly overseas. And I'm so excited for it, honestly I am. But in order to really plant myself here in this last month, I need to stop thinking about this "what if," I need to stop thinking about leaving and how I'm going to handle things when I'm back home. Please pray for me regarding this. Pray that I make the most of the time I have left with my students and coworkers, not allowing May 4th to inhibit these relationships at all.

Once again, I just thank you all for reading this and supporting me throughout. :) I'm off to school for some more planning and portfolio comprising.